It is no easy trick to switch careers at midlife, but more and more people are taking the leap and starting over at jobs they love IT IS UNKNOWN. SO CHANGE CAN BE FRIGHTENING. And exhilarating. Which is why the Chinese word for change is composed of two characters - one for danger and the other for opportunity. To face any sort of change one needs to hug both aspects. Three years ago, Anil Thirumalai (name changed) found himself grinding out a seemingly endless stream of marketing strategies and press releases for corporate clients. The 45-year-old owner of a small public relations firm knew he had to make a career change. “I was not having any fun,” says Thirumalai. While Anil’s interest in PR had begun to cool, his enthusiasm for food and cooking had been heating up. He would prepare elaborate meals - traditional Thanjavur cuisine he had learned from his grandfather - for friends, and fantasize about starting a theme restaurant. The time had come, he decided, to move that idea to the front and centre. “I realized that I had to pursue the change or it would never happen,” he says.
Adventures. 20 years ago, such a switch would have triggered a minor earthquake at home. Today, his wife Devaki just wants him to “follow his heart.” Her reasoning: “The kids have grown up and are more

Several people told Tiwari, ‘You’re really brave/foolish to trade a lucrative career in architecture for teaching.’ But “I feel like I am doing exactly what I have wanted to do my entire life,” says the 53-year-old. “I have an incredible level of confidence about the situation. I will never make as much money as an architect but things have never felt so right,” insists Tiwari.

RISK TAKER

There are perils - and pluses - to changing careers midstream. The trouble is you will not know what they are until you have taken the leap. Actor Boman Irani (of Munnabhai MBBS and Lage Raho Munna Bhai fame) jumped jobs so often that he re fined the act into a fine art, before finding his true calling at 40. Here is his story in his own words.
“After my HSC in Science, I switched to a course in Catering Management, following which I wore a monkey suit and worked in the Taj - waiting tables in the Rendezvous and Apollo Bar or room servicing. “However in 1981 Mum met with an accident and I had to step in to run her shop Golden Wafers. There I “Since I had no zoom lens I was restricted to shots which allowed me to go close to the subject, like say boxing. Whatever money I made went into buying a lens or two. ‘The kind-hearted Aspi Adajania made me official photographer of the World Cup Boxing and then to my utter delight got me to shoot a Norwegian Boxing Match, for which I was paid handsomely. Yay ! I bought my first Nikon Camera and Zoom lens.

“And then I struggled within: C’man, it’s time to give myself a chance and make photography into more than a hobby. But when I shared my dreams with my wife Zenobia and mum, they were scared stiff. ‘Give me two years I begged. ‘If I do not make it I will return to the shop and eat humble pie.’ “It is not just a cliche.

“I started shooting portfolios for friends and somehow I have become famous for them. I’ve done the portfolios for several Miss Indias, models Diana Hayden, Nafisa Joseph, Ujwala Raul, Fleur Xavier.

“Shooting Shiamak Davar swung me feet first on to the stage. He dragged me to Alyque Padamsee who cast me in Rashmi as the pimp who sings a song. That is the genius of Shiamak, who realized that I could act before I knew it myself.

I was ordered to lose 17 kilos, from 100 to 83 in two months stat. I consulted nutritionist Anjali Mukherjee, went on a rigorous diet - no breakfast; salad lunches and dinners; tea laced with jaggery - combined with a rigorous exercise routine.

Thanks!

Not that I am excusing his behaviour. If it deeply offends you, then he is right to say he will not watch it again… However, maybe you could try experimenting with watching some together-maybe it might spice things up for him and re-capture some of the lost excitement?

I guess if you wanted to look at the brighter side, you could be pleased that he wasn’t chatting online to another woman or watching her on webcam, or cheating on you?

I think that the whole not calling you whilst he is away thing is crap though. Yes, he could get a calling card-OR, even better, give you the landline number of his hotel and room number by text, and let you know by text when he’s available to chat (that’s what Bf and I do). I have found a great company online that alow me to make international calls from my landline at home at a fraction of the cost… I didn’t even need to switch providers, I called them on a business rate number (084- in the UK) and they route the call through for me at a few pennies per minute!!!

If you feel unhappy-then it’s best to take control of the situation rather than feeling powerless. Don’t sit at home waiting for him to call! YOU make the call to him! It would probably work out better than cards any way. He’d probably end up with trillions of part used cards in his wallet or something.

It sounds like he’s not making enough effort (and to be honest, maybe you could both do with making a little more effort-we’re all guilty of letting standards slip over time). So talk to him, tell him how you feel-but don’t expect him to make all the effort, or come up with all the solutions, you are a couple-that means partnership, which implies that you have to work as a team.

Offer constructive solutions, and be open to suggestions. If he still makes no effort, then maybe it’s time to put your own needs and the needs of your kids first!